by samwich
Since it's close to year end, many of my friends are hyped up for holiday. A few of my friends are even coming back from overseas too. Over the week, I have gotten so many invitations for dinner gatherings and weekend staycation.
But I rejected most of it.
I am sorting out my mountain-high pile of work and I do not have the capacity to join each and every single of the meet-ups. At night, as I was scrolling through Instagram, I would see that all my friends are having fun, at that instant, my mood takes a nose-dive.
Suddenly I was spiraling into bitterness and resentment. I was overwhelmed by the emptiness of my room but then I reminded myself that it is the choice I made.
Whether or not I skip the gatherings should not be the primary factor that affects my mental state. Though scrolling through Instagram made me feel more lonely than ever, but I should acknowledge that feeling and embraced the fact that it is okay for me to feel that.
I should always bear in mind that I should not let my feelings take charge of me.
And that I should make peace with my own decisions.
I valued work over fun.
I should remind myself why I chose that at first.